How To Share a Bed With A Partner Who Always Steals the Blankets
Have you ever had the best bedtime cuddle ever, only to wake up in the middle of the night freezing your ass off because your sweetie over there has rolled to the other side of the bed … and is all rolled up in the whole entire blanket? Maybe you’ve whispered sweet nothings as you drifted off to sleep, and then played a half-conscious game of tug-o-war until you finally got up in a huff and put on warmer pajamas. Perhaps this experience brings up the first inklings of resentment towards your loved one, and you wonder whether this subconscious wrestling match could be an indicator of some kind of dark side you didn’t know about.
You feel stuck — you really like falling asleep snuggled, but you need your space to sleep, and you know that if both of you roll in opposite directions you’ll pull the blanket in opposite directions and create a tragedy of the commons in which you are both cold, uncomfortable, and seething. Not ideal.
Maybe there is some wisdom in what people say about not sharing a bed?
Judaism places a lot of value on creating peaceful solutions to home-based problems, so much so that there is an entire talmudic concept called shalom bayit, or "peace of the home." Miraculously, this is one of those rare life problems to which I have an answer. There are so few things that I can say definitively, but this is one of them.
Are you ready?
It’s way simpler than you think.
And it will probably change your life. Maybe even save your relationship. We’re talking serious game-changer here.
Get bedding one size larger than your bed.
If you have a double bed, get a queen-sized flat sheet and a queen-sized blanket.
If you have a queen bed, get a king-sized flat sheet and a king-sized blanket.
If you have a king bed, first please explain to me why you have a king size bed. Then go and get the biggest flat sheets and blankets you can find.
Keep your fitted sheets, because you’ll need those. If you care a lot about aesthetics, you might want to be very selective in finding ways to mix and match your flat and fitted sheets that are no longer part of the same set. That’s okay. Be selective. This is your sanctuary we’re talking about.
Now get under those covers and take a moment to appreciate the magnitude of the gift you have just given yourself.
Go forth and snuggle, my friends!